The First Letter Home: Or How NOT to Use a Spell Check Program

I am saddened. Disheartened. And just plain frustrated.
That being said... let me explain why.

This evening I sat down to read the first letter that has been sent home from my son's kindergarten teacher. Let me now provide you with a few quotes:

1. "Now they feel safe in their new surrounding and convertible with the adult in charge."

2. "Using shoestring as away to accidentally pop others in the back."

3. "They are aol (absent with out leave)."

4. "Each parent is encouraged to send snack for the whole class (currently there is 28 students)."

5. "Unless a parent request that I don't."

6. "Thank you for your patients."

Now. Let me break these offenses down for you (just to provide an example of how my brain works).

1. Seriously. Is there any way at all that convertible could possible mean the same as comfortable?? This is a prime example of a spell check program error... it was apparently misspelled to begin with, and then the wrong selection was chosen in the spell check options. But when re-reading the letter for proofing (before distributing to PARENTS???) would you not notice this HUGE error??

2. Yet another spell check error--- away does not mean the same as a way.

3. Is there really ANY confusion in this world that AOL (internet provider) and AWOL (commonly known acronym throughout the world) could possibly mean the same thing?

4. Snack. Is. Come on-- it's simple elementary grammar to know that your noun and verb must match. Singular noun = singular verb. Plural noun= plural verb.

5. *sigh* RequestSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! Not request.

6. Probably the most painful error of all. This sentence occurred at the end of the letter and by this point, I was about to scream.

Let me insert here, please, that I do NOT read blogs (and/or letters) with the intention of editing them as I go. It's just something that my brain has always done. I think I was an editor in a previous life. Nor am I saying that I never make errors, or that I'm not guilty of stupid grammatical mistakes, especially while blogging.
But really folks. This is from a TEACHER!! This is the FIRST correspondence distributed to almost thirty parents and this is how you want to come across???
Let me also insert that both my mother and father taught elementary school for almost 25 years. I majored in elementary education, made it to student teaching, and then realized that it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. I have a tremendous amount of respect for teachers. But I also go into this new parent/teacher relationship with high hopes and expectations. I know it's unrealistic to expect every teacher I encounter to be as intelligent or giving as my parents were to their students. But I DO expect my kids' teachers to be able to form grammatically correct sentences on paper.

*Sigh* I should have finished my degree.