Dear Mr. Insurance Adjustor Man,
Today, after a full week of waiting, we finally received a call from you. Thanks for taking time out of your day to speak with us. But I feel that I must clarify a few things about the way the situation went down. And just to make sure things are clear here, please don't think that I expected to hear good news. Our car was a 1995 with lots of miles, so I fully anticipated that whatever you said, it would not put me in a happy place. But nothing could have prepared me for the words "....we'll give you $200". Excuse me?? I'm sorry... you need to repeat yourself... cause I could have sworn you just asked if I wanted to take it up the a** today??!! (And I'm ashamed that you are causing me to say such filthy things. My dad will not be pleased that you brought this side out of me.)
If you recall correctly, after you subjected me to your spiel of reasoning, I simply told you that I understood the words coming out of your mouth, but YOU were going to have to be the one to call and tell the news to my husband, cause I simply wasn't going to do it. Surprisingly, you actually did so, and proceeded to call me back 20 minutes later to tell me that "they" were raising "their" figure by $900. Um hmmm. Talked to your boss? NADA book value? Depreciation? Wut-evah. You were trying to stick it to the Halls, and we.were.not. going to take it. So you just remember that the next time we meet in a dark alley. (I have no idea if that will ever happen- but at least you've been forewarned.)
In closing, I appreciate your heartfelt (*snort*) words of compassion for our current car (or lack thereof) situation. The next time I write a check to your lovely establishment, I'll be sure to think of you and the fond memories of our conversation.
Safe driving to you and yours.