At Least I Leave My Clothes On....

I've realized lately that I only tend to write when I'm happy. This bothers me to a certain extent, since I don't want anyone to ever think that I sugarcoat my life. I certainly don't want to be one of those mommy bloggers who writes nothing but glowing things about her family and her clean house and her perfect four course meals every night... well, you get the drift. So here's a snapshot of my reality:

My house is messy. All the time. That comes with two kids, I guess--I can't seem to conquer the clutter!! I don't cook every night. Hell, I probably only go to the grocery store once a month -I hate it THAT much, so we're lucky if there's even fresh milk in the fridge. I don't "fulfill my wifely duties" enough (according to my husband). I have difficulty being a consistent discipliner, if that's even a word. Sometimes I let the kids eat whatever the want in the morning, just as long as they'll get their butts out of bed. I wear the same things over and over cause I'm just too lazy to really care. I don't change the sheets every week like I should. (Argh.. I hate that word!!). See... I sound like a total sloth, don't I?

My life is certainly not a picture perfect world. But on the other side of the coin... .I often don't want to write when I'm not happy simply because I don't want to deal with whatever it is that is bothering me. Writing about it means that I will have to analyze it enough to get it out into words, and often that's just too much work. I'm a classic avoider. I avoid confrontation in any way that I can. When faced with a situation I don't want to deal with it, I would rather just go to bed. Not so productive/healthy, I know, but at least I can admit it. Admittance is the first step, right?

After reading numerous posts lately by bloggy friends dealing with this issue, I guess I just felt the need to say these things. I kept feeling this little guilty bubble pop up over my head, like in a cartoon, thinking "Are they talking about me??" Lord, I hope not. My life's not perfect, but it's mine. And I love it. Messy rooms and all. Hey... at least I don't do this:



Everyone's got standards, right??

For My Husband

Years ago, when we first started dating, I composed a list for Darrell of things that I loved about him. I've decided that today, our one year wedding anniversary, would be a might fine time to compose a new list. I'm sure that some of the things will remain the same (and I'm sure that some of them you just really wouldn't want to know:)). I'm also going to include some pictures of us throughout the years...always good for a smile;) This one's for you, baby!! Thus begins:

Darrell's List/ Why I Love You (circa 2002)

Because you make me laugh

Because you love me even with morning breath

Because you think I look like a bulldog when I wake

Because you actually like my cold hands and feet

Because you love your mama dearly

Because you take care of others unselfishly
Because you love kids and aren't afraid to hold them
Because you are kind to animals
Because you are a hard worker
Because you always smell good

Because you look so damn sexy playing pool
Because you can make my heart flip by simply looking at me
Because you can light up a whole room with your laugh
Because you will sing with me
Because you will lower the shower curtain to make me feel tall

Because you will help me move in the freezing cold
Because you don't care that I sweat more than a normal person
Because you have faith in me and my dreams

Darrell's List (circa 2009)

Because you are a loving, hand-on father who was never afraid to change a few diapers or be a stay-at-home dad

Because you will give the shirt of your back to help a friend in need

Because you make our children laugh till they cry

Because you will ask about what book I'm reading--when I know you really don't care:)

Because you rub my aching back, arms, legs, etc.

Because you spent this entire summer making our front yard nice and green

Because you work so hard to be able to spoil our kids & me (in a totally good spoil kind of way, lol)

Because you are passionate about many things

Because you get even more handsome with age (which is highly unfair, by the way)

Because you've learned how to comfort me- sometimes I don't need opinions or things to be fixed, just need someone to listen

Because you don't laugh or get frustrated when I play (bad) golf with you... you're just happy I'm there.

Hey... it's the little things, right? I love you, baby, kudos to us for making it through the first year! Here's to many more to come!

It's Finally Here!

Finally... my vacation time has arrived!! I am officially off work until the 17th. Can I get a woot woot??! We have quite a few things going on during this time that I'm really excited about. First up: my soul sistah Renea and I have back to back birthdays (she is Aug. 12 and I'm the 13th), so every year we celebrate by having a joint birthday shindig. Nae and her hubby bought a beautiful new home this past year, and they are graciously opening their doors to our scandalous friends to celebrate tomorrow night. Getting all our peeps in one location takes an act of God these days, so I'm SUPER thrilled that so many people will be able to make it.

Our bday party is also taking place on Darrell and my's one year anniversary. When I asked him if he cared if we went to the party (I was trying to be a good wife & make sure he had made no anniversary plans without my knowledge), of course, he replied, "Sweet!!" What he didn't speak aloud was his inner voice saying "Hot dog! This means I don't have to come up with any plans!!" LOL-- I love my man, but I also know his inner dialogues very well.

Next up we have school clothes & school supply shopping on Sunday. It's tax free weekend (I just realized that I don't know if it continues on Sunday...guess I should check into that:)). Need to get the kids haircuts done that day as well. Ok....so to be honest, I'm not looking forward to fighting the crowds and I'm really not much of a shopper, but I am going to enjoying picking out super cute outfits for my adorable children.

Monday morning I have to take Jalyn in for some five year old shots so that she'll be all current before starting kindergarten. That will definitely be the low point of the vacation week, but she has assured me that she'll be tough. After that's all taken care of... off we go!!! We're going to head to northern OK and spend the night in my husband's hometown and visit with his family that we don't get to see very often. Come Tuesday, we're headed for Robbers Cave State Park (also in Oklahoma) to stay in a rented cabin until Friday. My birthday actually falls on Thursday, so I'm excited about being in a spectacular & fun locale with the whole family. We check out on Friday, and then are thinking about heading into Ft. Smith and seeing what's shaking in the big Arkansas town, LOL! Then likely back to the hometown area to spend some more time there...likely enjoying the 100 acres & spring fed creeks that hubby's aunt and uncle own.

But my favorite part of this entire week is likely going to be when we pull into the park at the cabin. The kids don't even know we're going on vacation- much less that we're going to be staying some "cool" :) They are going to go CRAZY!!! And that, of course,is what it's all about.

Wordless Wednesday: Where We'll Be Next Week

Out of the Mouths of Babes (Part II)

So --- my daughter comes up to me last night, put her hands on her hips and says (and I quote):

"Hush, girl, shut your lips... do the Helen Keller and talk with your hips."

Anyone recognize this?? Yes indeedy-- my daughter was quoting a song whose chorus is "Don't Trust a Ho".

Niiiiiice.

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. After all- we ARE pretty gangsta.

Oh wait. That's me. My bad, homie.

Grateful Sunday

After my totally self-indulgent post yesterday, I thought it would serve me well to put myself in check and list things I'm grateful for on this Sunday. Thus begins the perspective:

1. I'm glad Jalyn is feeling better. She spent the majority of today throwing up (obviously had the same thing that Jaxen was plagued with last night), but as of about seven p.m., she bounced back to her normal self. Fed her a light dinner and it seems to be staying put. Thank God!

2. Farkle. I've resisted playing Farkle on Facebook for some time now, simply because I knew I would love it. I'm a huge Yahtzee fan, and Farkle has many similarities. But today I broke down and gave it a whirl. I lost some hours of my life that I'll never be able to get back... but that's okay. I had fun and so did the kids. They enjoy playing it as well, so I don't feel quite as guilty sitting with my laptop all day:)

3. My Dad. I'm such a Daddy's girl, and as soon as he read my post from yesterday, he called to check on me and cheer me up. (Sorry I couldn't chat longer, Dad, the kids have a problem with me talking on the phone. They don't like it when they don't have my undivided attention, LOL).

4. My new lime green nail polish. I know, I know... I'm such a dork. But you all know how much I love my green and it just makes me smile when I look at it:) And as an added bonus, I haven't been biting my nails! The only time during my life when I didn't bite my nails was when I had braces and literally couldn't do it. But as soon as I raise my nails to my mouth, I see the bright green and it triggers a little alarm bell in my head-- resist the temptation!!

5. Wasabi & Soy Sauce Almonds by Blue Diamond. I've been avoiding these at the quick-stop for the same reason I've been avoiding Farkle- I knew I would get addicted. But I broke down last night and tried some, and Lord have mercy, are they good! Almonds are my favorite nut (also my snack of choice if given the option), so when you add a little kick to them as well-- match made in heaven if you ask me.

So there it is. Just a few things that are making me happy today. Hey, it's the little things, right??

Great Expectations

Disclaimer: I'm feeling really sorry for myself today. So let me preface this post by saying that whining, bitching and moping are about to occur, so if any of these offend you, you probably want to leave before reading any further. That being said...

There is very little that displeases me more than my expectations not being met, for things to not go as I plan (in my head). I had such high hopes for this weekend-- I was looking forward to enjoying some fun times with the kids & hubby, doing some swimming, seeing some friend-- just relaxing in general. I should have known better.

Driving home Friday evening, my phone just totally dies. It was fully charged, so I'm assuming it's a battery problem. I've never been one that cares about having a top of the line phone, or whatever new thing is popular. I just want something that I can take pictures with and text easily. I've had my phone for three years, problem free, so it has served me well. I bundle up the kids and go over to my local T-Mobile store, stand in the tiniest space ever (full of about fifteen people--seriously, you couldn't even move), with two kids mind you, for an hour-- and then they tell me that the can't give me the advertised price. Apparently, you only qualify for a decent price on a phone if you're a new customer. They could care less if you are an longtime customer who pays their bill on time, and has never even had an upgrade. I had found a phone that I truly loved and was actually excited about, but I refused to write a check that was almost the equivalent of a car payment for a phone. Thus began the weekend.

Cuddled up in bed last night with my baby girl, giving her a back rub when she starts complaining that her head itches. And there it is again...the lice that we just dealt with a month or so ago. Are you f'ing kidding me?? I gave her a bath Thursday night, there was nothing there, and then she comes home from daycare on Friday with this shit again. Don't get me wrong... I don't blame the daycare in any way. I know that this is an unavoidable problem when you get that many kids in one location. But I DO blame some parent who is obviously continuously sending their child to daycare when they should have them at home treating them!! Thus began another weekend totally shot to hell spent disinfecting and washing every item of fabric in the house and giving both kids RID treatments. Jaxen hasn't been hit with it, but I see no sense in not treating him at the same time, just in case.

Wake up in the middle of the night with a lovely monthly visitor. I have such painful cycles that I knew this pretty much meant I was out of commission today. And I was right. I've hurt like crazy all day-- which always annoys Jr. to no end and makes him all short tempered and irritated with me. He doesn't understand it all of course, because he's ... well... a man. Kind of like trying to make them understand what labor pains feel like. He still thinks they were all in my head. (I'll just pause here for a moment while every female reading this gets angry over that statement.)

We sit down to dinner tonight and Jaxen was whining about the fact that we're having spaghetti for dinner, saying that it hurts his stomach. I have no idea where this began. He used to love spaghetti. So of course Jr. is telling him to just eat his damn food, when Jaxen starts to gag. Jr. thought he was faking and tells him he better not even think about acting like he's gagging on the dinner I've made. Well, when J-Bo got up and ran to the restroom, I knew we were in trouble. He didn't even make it. Threw up all over the hallway and the bathroom. Obviously, he really didn't feel good, and then I felt like crap for not believing him.

I just feel like crying. I'm not normally a crying type of person--it usually only happens when I'm really tired and/or frustrated, but I can feel the waterworks coming on. I am feeling crampy, bloated, irritated, like things are totally out of my control. *sigh* Damn those expectations that didn't get met.